I’m a collector of advice. I’m a good listener. And I absorb advice that resonates with me. This is some of that advice.

Over the years, I’ve encountered many women who had Good Things To Say. I remember these women frequently. When they have something Important to say, I can sense it. And I tuck it away for future reference. And here, I am passing on two great pieces of advice that have stuck with me for decades.

The Invisible String

This has to do with posture. Almost everyone reading this has HORRIBLE POSTURE. Admit it: right now, you are slunched over your phone or laptop. STOP IT. This is horrible for your posture! Everyone’s mother and grandmother through the ages told us not to slouch; now we’re doing it willingly, courtesy of our mobile devices and computers. Seriously, STAAAHHHP doing this. Don’t stop using your mobile devices. DO put some thought into your posture. We are RUINING our bodies via technology and it’s time to stop. This also applies to general sitting and standing. While sitting at a computer or using a mobile device (tablet or phone), or even just SITTING, imagine that there’s an invisible string attached between your shoulder blades. Imagine that this string is taut, and lifting you up. Think of yourself as a ballet dancer or a Queen. This is purely imaginary. Envision it and it will immediately improve your posture. If you find your shoulders slumping, remind yourself of the Invisible String. Put a post-it note on your computer if you need to. Make it part of your psyche. Catching yourself slumping=instant invisible string.

The Cloak of Dignity

Have you ever been in a situation where you felt just plain insulted? Maybe someone gave you side eye. Maybe they laughed maniacally at your hat (happened to me just the other day — hmmmph). Maybe they don’t like tattoos. Maybe they don’t like your funky style. Maybe they’re intimidated because you aren’t NORMAL. Well, who cares what’s “normal” or “accepted”? If you’re a bold lady, who doesn’t fit the norm (in which case, WELCOME, because you are our people!), there’s an easy way to deal with this. It’s called the Cloak of Dignity. When you’re insulted, given side-eye, or WORSE, confronted with WORDS, immediately throw on your Cloak of Dignity. Again, this is purely imaginary, and something you have to practice and incorporate into your psyche. Envision yourself throwing a fabulous velvet cloak across your shoulders. It’s a shield, a protection, even if it’s only imaginary. This gives you power. It’s a mental shield against the barbs you’re receiving. It protects you. Having your imaginary Cloak of Dignity is instant power against the foes who are trying to undermine your fabulouslosity. Once your imaginary Cloak of Dignity is activated, you have two choices: you can turn away, or you can have words. Sometimes words are not worth it. Think “pearls before swine,” a la Shakespeare…will your words matter? Probably not. Sometimes it’s better to let the Cloak of Dignity do its job, and walk away. But if you have a witty, appropriate repartée, go for it. Just remember: pearls before swine: is it worth it? Maybe just walking away is the best practice, with your dignified exit. Remember, you can’t fix stupid 😉

by Stacie Herndon

Stacie is a writer, graphic designer, and web developer. Legend has it that she was born old. She has always loved outrageous older ladies, often befriending them over people her own age. She is a devoted Francophile, loves a good Sauvignon Blanc and can mix a mean cocktail. She will have red hair until the day she departs this earth.